The Day Offense Lost Its Power Over Me

I remember the moment my heart shattered. Not in a dramatic movie-scene way but in the kind of quiet, private devastation that lingers. The kind that makes you feel like someone reached into your chest and twisted everything you once believed in.

It wasn't just pain. It was a betrayal. Disrespect. And an overwhelming sense of how dare you.

My ex hurt me in ways that felt intentional, like he knew exactly what would break me and went for it anyway. For a while, I wanted payback. Not just because I was angry but because I felt like I deserved revenge. I wanted him to feel what I felt. I had options, plenty of them. And if I'm being honest, it would've been too easy.

So yeah, I sat with those thoughts. Played them like background music while I went about my day. I was hurt, humiliated, and deep down… I wanted him to know I could hurt him back.

Then, on one random afternoon, during one of those endless scrolls on Instagram, a reel caught my attention. The title?

"How to Overcome the Spirit of Offense" — Apostle Joshua Selman

I don't even know why I clicked. But I did. And in that short clip, something shifted in me. I went straight to YouTube and watched the full sermon. And let me tell you, it felt like God pulled up a chair across from me and said, "Let's talk."

Apostle Selman spoke about how offense is a trap — how holding onto it feels justified, even righteous, but really? It's just self-sabotage. He said something I'll never forget:

"People are not perfect, but you must choose to be free. You must choose healing over hurting back."

That hit me hard because I realized I wasn't free. I had given that offense a front-row seat in my life. It shaped how I spoke, moved, and saw myself. I was walking around with a heavy heart and calling it strength. But it was just pain disguised.

I cried — not just from heartbreak but because I had been holding onto something that was never mine to carry in the first place.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I've got it all figured out. People still do things. I still get triggered sometimes. But offense doesn't own me anymore. It doesn't live in my body rent-free. I've learned to pause. To breathe. To remind myself that peace is louder than pettiness.

Letting go wasn't about letting him off the hook but about setting myself free.

So, if you're reading this and holding onto offense, pain, or the need to prove a point, please hear me: Let it go.

It's not worth your peace. It's not worth your purpose.

Offense will disguise itself as protection. But really, it's a prison.

Let's keep discussing this because healing isn't one big moment. It's a thousand little choices. And I'm still making them, one day at a time.

If you're ready to take that first step, here's the sermon that helped me get there:

"How to Overcome the Spirit of Offense" – Apostle Joshua Selman

Click to watch on YouTube